[I saw the birthmark on your kittykat in the video Jessica. I know it was you.]
We have all watched them. We've laughed, cried, let off a couple knuck children and commented on them. If you just said you haven't let off a couple comments, you's a lie. But everytime I finish watching talking about one of these tapes it makes me think about that person's present life. I know, I know - Loveable Captain B caring about others feelings. No dum dum, I just wonder how in the hell another man could get with a girl that has a flick out with some random dude. And also, how in the hell could you think that a guy would marry/stay married to you with this out there. Picture this:
you got a flick out in the world and you get married. You and your partner try something 'new' in the bedroom. Partner finds out about your flick, watches it, and finds out that 'new' trick was taught to you by some other dude.
That's grounds for divorce right there. What box will/should dude check on the papers. The heifer lied to me aka Irreconciable Differences.
I know for a fact that the co-pilot in my life has flown under the leadership of another Pilot but damn it, I have NEVER seen it so in my twisted mind, I'm the first. Call me crazy, but you all have thought the same damn thing or you've told you're significant other that they are the best when you know Ray/Rochelle did some derivative of the above situation to you, orgasmically. But I digress back to the subject. These chicks have ruined their lives forever. No self respecting man/woman would marry you when you have a sex tape out there for the world to see. Let's go down the list of the notables (because some of them aren't worth the attention *cough Eve cough*):
1. Pam Anderson
Went from Baywatch to Barbwire to Dancing with the Stars. What a downward spiral. Single.
2. Kim Khardashian
She got played like no other. Poor, fine a** Armenian girl. Reggie will hit it but he will never get married to that chick. And she is one of the finest.
3. Nicki Minaj
I have no words for this one. She likes dudes and girls. She's trying to double her chances but let's be real. Nicki Minaj couldn't get married without the movie so this point is moot.
4. Paris Hilton
Never even had a chance.
5. Kendra Wilkinson
The former Playboy playmate almost was home free with a new show and a new husband. Then a f*ckin deluge of dirty deed came out. And I mean there are flicks of her and a dude, her, a dude and another girl, her and a donkey and snake! What happened? Divorced. Guess what he checked.
I am aware that there are partners in these videos, but let's be real, guys are socially supposed to do stuff like this. It's not me, it's society. I am also aware that most of these women have a larger than normal amount of money on hand. My retort to this is, who the f*ck cares. Money won't keep you satisfied. Well, it can buy something that will, but that's illegal in America. You know what I'm talking about.
So women, stop trusting dude when he says, "naw girl, there's no tape/sd card/auxillary power in the camera". If you're going to do the do on camera, do what's smart. Set it up yourself and make sure there's no tape.
Captain B's orders.
The New Busy is not the too busy. Combine all your e-mail accounts with Hotmail. Get busy.
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